Totally Real Gossip
BREAKING
ARSONIST EX-HUSBAND ARRESTED: 'I CAN FIX HIM' CULT EMERGES ONLINE
INLAND EMPIRE COUNTY SHERIFF • 07.17.2007
Local woman's ex-husband Gerard 'Gerry' McAuliffe was taken into custody Tuesday following a house fire that destroyed their former marital home. Investigators are calling it arson. Meanwhile, an online fan club has emerged and we are deeply concerned...
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LOCAL SCULPTOR FINDS LOVE AFTER MESSY DIVORCE
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
Metal sculptor Erin McAuliffe is moving on. Just months after her divorce was finalized, sources say she's been spotted with a local attorney. Friends describe her as "finally happy." We caught up with her for an exclusive interview...
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UNDERDOG LAWYER SCORES MASSIVE SETTLEMENT IN DAVID VS. GOLIATH CASE
COHEN & ASSOCIATES
Attorney Jaime Q. Cohen just won big. The little guy took on a major corporation and walked away with a settlement that has the legal community buzzing. His firm is now accepting new clients. If you need representation, he might just be your guy...
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GERRY MCAULIFFE SELLS RIGHTS TO HIS STORY FOR SIX FIGURES
PUBLISHERS IN BIDDING WAR OVER ARSONIST'S MEMOIR
In a move that has shocked absolutely no one who knows him, convicted arsonist Gerry McAuliffe has sold the rights to his story for six figures. Publishers are calling it "the most unhinged love story of 2007." The book drops Valentine's Day 2026...
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ERIS SCULPTURE IN CORTEN STEEL SURVIVES HOUSE FIRE
WITNESSES SAY IT BURNED BRIGHTER
When firefighters arrived at the McAuliffe residence, they found a 6-foot Corten steel sculpture standing in the wreckage. Witnesses claim the goddess of discord "burned brighter" as the house collapsed around her. Now available as a commemorative shirt...
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Animal Control Bulletin
URGENT
MISSING CAT: DO NOT APPROACH
CALL ANIMAL CONTROL IMMEDIATELY
Her name is Mitzy. She is bitter, aggressive, and possibly plotting something. If you see her, do not approach. Call animal control immediately. Or buy the t-shirt and wear it as a warning to others...
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The Other Silicon Valley
STARTUP
'ASUGOH' PORTAL PROMISES TO FIX THE AMERICAN ATTENTION SPAN EPIDEMIC
TECH / READING / INNOVATION
A new startup called "asugoh" claims it will revolutionize how Americans read books. Instead of scrolling through endless options, users receive curated book sections via text message. The company's tagline: "read where you are." Investors are skeptical. Readers are intrigued...
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LOCAL DOG REFUSES TO EAT UNLESS HIS FOOD IS MICROWAVED
BOUGIE PROBLEMS
Meet Pepper, a golden retriever with standards. His owner reports that he will not touch his kibble unless it's been microwaved for exactly 30 seconds. He is living his best life and has no idea Mitzy exists...
FUNNY CAT VIDEOS GO HUGE ON YOUTUBE WITH 50K VIEWS!
INTERNET CULTURE
A video of a bitter cat named Mitzy has racked up 50,000 views on that new video site YouTube. The clip shows her aggressively searching for a dog named Pepper while holding a beer. Comments are flooded with "I can relate" and "this cat is my spirit animal..."
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DIGITAL REVOLUTION: INDEPENDENT $15K FILM DEBUTS HOT
INDIE CINEMA / STREAMING
The independent feature THE SEX MOVIE released on DVD and hit that new Netflix streaming thing. It also somehow landed at #43 on IMDb right before the latest Indiana Jones. How is this even possible? Guerrilla filmmaking at its finest...
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East Oregon Weekly
BREAKING
TEEN SLEUTHS PURSUE 'CREEPY ALIEN FACE' KILLER IN WAVE OF GRISLY MURDERS
DREAD, OREGON • FEB. 2024
The idyllic town of Dread, Oregon is reeling from a series of chilling disappearances and murders. Caught in the tumult are Landon Greaves and Star Pfisher, two teens determined to get to the bottom of this... or die trying. "It's like a scene ripped straight from a horror movie," reflects Landon...
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